it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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