Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
