I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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