his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
