Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
you made out with another girl for some wings
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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