Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
