have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
