Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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