Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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