I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
