i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
