addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
