doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
