R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
