I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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