found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
