I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
