Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
