He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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