Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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