I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
