She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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