OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
