Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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