how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
