I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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