The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
