Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
