i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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