You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
