All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
