The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
