wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
