So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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