Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
