Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
