how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
