There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
