Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
