Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
