Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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