Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
