Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
