i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
