On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
