eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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