I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
