I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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