so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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