I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
