Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
