I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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